1. |
A Little Sunshine Here
04:00
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I found you in the forest
I got lost
I walked into a situation
Covered in scars
Found myself wading in waters
That I’d never known
Or cared to know
But I’m ok
In some ways
In some ways I’m not
In some ways I’m far from home
Lead me out of the darkness
lead me into the light
I could use a ray of sunshine in my life
Do away with the static
make the fog disappear
I could use a little sunshine here
Oooh
Oooh
You watched me from a distance
Right where I kept you
You gave me
The room that I needed
To think it all through
Found myself, under the surface
Just holding my ground
I probably should’ve drowned
But I let go
the boulders were heavy
and I realized
Oh, they were not my own
Lead me out of the darkness
lead me into the light
I could use a ray of sunshine in my life
Do away with the static
make the fog disappear
I could use a little sunshine here
I could use a little sunshine here
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2. |
Submarine
03:13
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Just trying to get by, just buying my time
Trying not to cry every day
Keep holding it in, soon something will give
Hold onto what’s left, I have faith
Let go of the suffering, it’s not my job to hold the pain
Take me under submarine, don’t want to feel a thing at all
I just want to get lost, run away from it all
Where no one can find me
Hunker down real low, where nobody knows
That I am hiding
Take one look around, we’re scraping the ground
To save what we thought it once was
Now our eyes open wide, we’re left to decide
Just what we are fighting
God I’m tired of the suffering, I’m tired of holding all the pain
Take me under submarine, don’t want to feel a thing at all
I just want to get lost, run away from it all
Where no one can find me
Hunker down real low, where nobody knows
That I am hiding
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I’m tired of all the chaos,
I’m tired of what should’ve been,
Let the waves hold me under
Weightlessly as I descend
Reality’s Not what it used to be
I cannot unsee what I now know
Tripping over the apathy
What happened to empathy
God I don’t know
I just want to run away
I just want to get lost, run away from it all
Where no one can find me
Hunker down real low, where nobody knows
That I am hiding
I just want to get lost, run away from it all
Where no one can find me
Hunker Down real low, where nobody knows
That I am hiding
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3. |
Meet Me
05:14
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Where you, where you hide
Meet me on the other side
I know you’re standing right there
Come on now, you’ll survive
You are untied
Oh, I know letting go
Oh, but you’re not alone
Cuz once you make the jump
To the other side
You’ll be just fine- we’ll be waiting for you
And once you’re off the hook
And you can look around
Find some steady ground - we’ll be waiting for you
On the other side
Get ready it’s a ride
All you, all you knew
Crumbled into
2 million pieces but it’s gonna be ok
In your search for the truth
You are unglued
Oh, I know letting go
Oh, but you’re not alone
Cuz once you make the jump
To the other side
You’ll be just fine- we’ll be waiting for you
And once you’re off the hook
And you can look around
Find some steady ground - we’ll be waiting for you
On the other side
Get ready it’s a ride
On the other side
Get ready it’s a ride
No matter what you think, no matter what you say,
no matter what you do
No matter where you land, no matter where you stand,
we’ll be waiting for you
Cuz once you make the jump
To the other side
You’ll be just fine- we’ll be waiting for you
And once you’re off the hook
And you can look around
Find some steady ground - we’ll be waiting for you
On the other side
Get ready it’s a ride
On the other side
Get ready it’s a ride
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4. |
Dear Church...
03:42
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You think you know me, but I don’t even know myself
My thoughts are only from absorbing everyone else
I’m letting go of everything I was sure of
We’ll all be surprised when we find out what’s left...
Remember way back when we were just kids
I just accepted everything as it is
Didn’t need to question all that I learned
Now a few things have been overturned
I’ve got a few years on me now
I’m seeing red flags all around
But what do I know?
I’m just a female
Now that I’m seeing this life with new eyes
My brain is constantly surprised
And as the whole world starts to wake up
People keep working hard to cover up
Hey maybe we had some things wrong
It won’t kill you to unlearn some
But what do I know?
I’m just a millennial
You think you know me, but I don’t even know myself
My thoughts are only from absorbing everyone else
I’m letting go of everything I was sure of
We’ll all be surprised when we find out what’s left of me, me
Maybe we should listen and love without condition
Thats what my faith taught me to do
Change isn’t something to fear, Its something you can do
To love the people around you
I think I know you and you can do better than this
Go make some friends who share different perspectives
Open your mind to hearing the heart of others
Cuz just maybe, what’s left will be something beautiful
This is about me, and this is about you
If we’re gonna right this ship we’ve got work to do
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5. |
Unlike You
03:31
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I don’t know what to say
Thoughts roll through my mind
I think up scenarios & back down every time
It’s not only me but it’s pretty lonely
I wonder time and again if I can be me
Who I was isn’t who I am
I’m not who I am for you
Maybe someday I’ll find the nerve to be myself
Instead of what you want me to be, that’s somebody else
If I told you the truth, could you open your heart?
Or would you push me away and throw it all away?
Who I was isn’t who I am
I’m not who I am for you
If I spoke would you still like me?
Cuz i’m so afraid to be unlike you
To be unlike you means that everything has changed
To be unlike you means I don’t feel the same
About the things I used to
I opened my mind and the only thing I’m sure of now
Is that love’s gotta find a way between our hardened hearts
Who I was isn’t who I am
I’m not who I am for you
And when I speak, will you still like me?
Cuz I wanna be unlike you.
And I’m ok with that. Are you?
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6. |
Letting Go of Holding On
03:37
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Already questioning what I know
The holding on and the letting go
Shattered glass doesn’t fall at once
It cricks and cracks until it falls a…
Straight to the center of my soul
This hope isn’t helpful anymore
And all the time that I obeyed
It was so quiet on that day
I’m falling down in my closet
Letting go of holding on
I came here to get away
I got here and now I’m gone
They think I’m flying off the deep end
How much longer can I pretend?
That everything’s ok?
That everything’s the same?
Cuz its not.
I imagine the whispers and the prayers
Not to my face, but I know they’re there
If they’d zoom out from what they know
I don’t think I’d feel so a…
“Do not fear’s” a funny thing
In church it’s something I would sing
But out here in reality
It’s been used against me
I’m crouching down in my closet
Letting go of holding on
I came here to get away
I got here and now I’m gone
They think I’m flying off the deep end
How much longer can I pretend?
Well just look at you now
You said you’d love your neighbor
But you pushed them back down
With your political savior
So when we walk out in droves
It’s because we believed what we were sold
I’m staring out of my closet
Letting go of holding...
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7. |
Until I Couldn't
04:57
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I was falling down, you saw it all along
And yet, you came to me, sing us another song
I tried to give you what you wanted, hold back all the rest
Sing words I really wasn’t sure of, each one, another test
But I can’t give you anymore
It was my turn, for the taking
I gave everything I could
Pushed back the trauma, so you could hear me
I gave everything I could
Until I couldn’t anymore
I drifted away, went weeks and without a word
I found a place to hide and sank into the hurt
I tried to tell you bout my heart ache, call this a place to rest
My reputation went before me, will you sing again, so I did
When It was my turn, for the taking
I gave everything I could
Pushed back the trauma, so you could hear me
I gave everything I could
Until I couldn’t anymore, I ended up just like before
I just gotta get away, I just needed a break
Cuz It was my turn, for the taking
I gave everything I could
Pushed back the trauma, so you could hear me
to give you everything
Oh It was my turn, for the taking
I gave everything I could
Pushed back the trauma, so you could hear me
To give you everything I could
I gave you everything I could
I gave everything I could
Until I couldn’t anymore
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8. |
Somewhere In The Middle
03:56
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Here I go again
Only the 100th time I’ve grabbed this pen
Tonight
The thoughts are comin loud
How come I can’t get them to make a sound
Tonight?
Revisiting these frets
Just the same old chords that you’d expect from me
A pretty melody
But don’t expect any creativity,
Not from me
Cuz I gave it away
In the busy world
That I’ve made
And it’s hard to escape, hard to escape
Here under the weight
Of expectation, the congregation waits
For someone they once knew
But I don’t expect we’ll be seeing that one soon
Falling down the side
Of a gorge of pain, this intensity’s insane
How dark the dark can be
I can’t make it stop
And it’s killing me
And I, how I tried,
To push it away
In the busy world
That I made
And it’s hard to escape, hard to escape
I’m trying to find my way out
Each time I climb up the other side
I’m trying to hold on, make sense of it all
Until again I fall
I am, I am
I am, I am
I am, I am somewhere in the middle
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Sundays With Emily Kansas City, Missouri
Sundays With Emily began as a rejection of status quo conservative christianity. After recovering from the shock of how many christians behaved over the last few years, Emily processed the loss of a community she thought she knew by writing Submarine: The Bittersweet Descent. Emily has been playing guitar & writing since 14, formerly as Running @ An Incredible Rate & as herself, Emily Russell. ... more
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